Telephonophobia

I don't like phone calls.

Getting them is not so bad I even prefer it if I don't know who is calling. But having to call someone is hard for me and I'm not sure why. It could be because I prefer to join in a conversation not make one or just the sense that I could be disturbing someone.

In the past 2 days I have had to make a call. I did it yesterday but the person wasn't even in, so I had to call back today. And then all I got was a new number to call a different person on. I kind of chickened out a bit. I tracked down the persons Email and used that.

I do prefer to write emails. But sometimes this can cause it's own problems. My Dyslexia has a habit of rearing its head every now and then just to make things that bit more difficult for me. I must have taken me about 45 minutes to send a email which consisted of 2 sentences just because my mind went blank and had trouble putting word on paper (or screen).

I'm bad a writing at the best of times but that is mainly down to spelling and messing up a bit of grammar, Every now and then I just stare a the page and nothing comes out. Its very frustrating; especially since this blog is flowing out of my finger tips right now, but when i started it hours ago I only had 3 rough sentences now I have 4 big paragraphs with more to come.

It could by my social anxiety coming out or, I just don't like to converse too much especially with people I don't know. One on one is not so bad in real life for me, but being a child of the internet It is as if I feel anything I write down online (apart from here) can be seen my everyone. Which is daft it's only a email just like a text but only better in most ways.

I'm not sure what to do to combat this.

I think the old face you fears would work best but the thing there is what is making me face them?

Powers Out

I'm bored.

Not that i should be, I'm sat at my desk surrounded by things to read, to play with and to work on. But I don't want to.

Its a problem of mine and one I'm all too aware of. I can just sit here for a hour tinking of what to do or just brousing twitter. In the end i end up running out of "free time" and get on with waht I have to do.

The are about 7 books in reach of me right now that I've yet to read, some of them have sat there for monts on end. Right now I'm not in the right mood to read any, don't know why but I know I am. The are even more DVDs in reach that I havent watched yet but thats a moot point this post is titled power cut for a reason.

It should come back of in half a hour or so, after being off for 6 hours so far. Then it will be back to youtube and web comics and sigh emails.

I filled some of the time by going out with my camera but that only took 80 photos before the battrey died. My phone is at 45% my tablet is at 60% and my mp3 player has run dry.

I've just looked closer and the are at least 10 books to read.

I've managed to fill a bit of time and I am less bored. I should blog more.

Birthday Tomorrow

That's in one hour.

Another year, and I've done some cool stuff. Missed out on some cool stuff. Done some strange stuff. But am all the better for what I have, haven't, couldn't or maybe did/done.

It has made me, ME.

I couldet live with myself if I could say that. I'm my own person and I do what I thnk I should and what I think is right. I am ME. I like it that way.

This new year for me shall see me strive for more, to do more, to achieve more and to have more fun. I hope I can do myself justice and do all of that. But then; I'm me and I'll be happy no matter what.

I could list what I wish to achieve but what's the point in that. I have aims but to set it in stone gives no leeway, I don't want to put stuff off but I don't want to force things. I have my pace and I shall stick to it. A list would also be in-complicate I want to tackle things I don't know is coming and I want to do things from left field.

Goal for tomorrow? Have fun! It is my birthday after all.

45 to go. See you on the other side.